In the Justin Bieber 2015 Cover Story for Complex News, Bieber talks about the time he had moved in with Selena Gomez his then girlfriend when he was 18. He had started his own life with her. According to him, 

“it was a marriage kind of thing. Living with a girl, it was just too much at that age. But we were so in love. Nothing else mattered. We were all about each other. But when it’s like that and you get your value from that, people will always disappoint you. Your girl or your dude, they’re always going to disappoint you. Your full identity can’t be in that person. My identity was in her. Her identity was in me. When stuff would happen, I would lose my freakin’ mind, and she would lose her mind, and we would fight so hard because we were so invested in each other.”

I can so relate to this. When you are in a relationship you get so caught up in the other person. So much so you sacrifice so much of yourself. You lose yourself in the relationship. You try to be everything for the other person. Everything becomes about them. And then some where along the way you realize you don’t know who you are.

Banking from breakup is about you. It is about reclaiming your identity, owning who you are and making yourself a priority in your life. It is about relying on yourself.

Here is what I have learned from my own situation. When you’re caught in the emotional hurricane of a breakup you are distracted from your life and disconnected from yourself. I know I was. As a result, the world is missing out on your gifts and your genius. The unique thing that you were put on this earth to do. That thing that only you can bring into the world. Banking from Breakup is all about helping you rediscover your gifts. Sometimes our gifts reveal themselves through our most painful and difficult experiences. Strange. Mine did.

The reality is you are your own rescue. Only you can save yourself. Expecting someone else to fix you keeps you dependent and stuck. No one can complete you or make you whole. Another person may complement you. But no one can complete you as a person.

Think about this, you were not a half of a person when you started the relationship. You were a complete and whole person before your relationship. And you will be the same after your relationship. Two people who come into a relationship are 2 whole and complete people.

Let’s do the math. 1 + 1 = 2. Two wholes. 1+1 will never equal 1 whole. You came into your relationship complete and whole.

When you decide to bank from breakup you are taking a stand and making a statement. There is power in banking from your breakup. You owe it to yourself to own your breakup and move on from it.

The Lesson: There is no prince(ss) charming. No one can save you or complete you. You are all you have. The key is to learn to rely on yourself.