Heartbroken and broke is the last thing you want to be after a breakup. I’ve been there, and I know that I’m not alone. No one signs up to be heartbroken and broken. Understandably, everybody’s situation and circumstances are different. Some people stay in their relationship because they “can’t afford to leave”. Other’s stay because they need their “partner’s financial stability” while they get back on their feet and establish their own financial base. Basically, breaking up isn’t an option for some because they are “financially dependent”. Yet they are still heartbroken and broke, trapped and struggling. No one should have to stay in a situation because of money. The motivation behind starting Banking from Breakup was about creating freedom. I wanted to create time freedom, financial freedom and lifestyle freedom. I didn't ever want to be financially vulnerable again. So, I took matters into my own hands. 

Breakups suck! But nothing sucks more than being heartbroken and broke. Bad enough to go through a bad breakup, but to be broke on top of that is terrible. It’s not surprising that 1 in 4 adults experience financial difficulties following a relationship breakup (UK Study). These findings are targeted specifically at breakups, not divorces. Either way they are still alarming none the less. A breakup should not devastate your finances too. 

At the end of the day breakups happen. They’re inevitable. Eighty-five percent of relationships end in breakup. So, breakups are part of the relationship landscape. The key is what you choose to do after the breakup, what you make of your breakup. Your breakup bounce back is your responsibility. You choose how you do your breakup. There are only two options when you think about it. You can either be heartbroken and broke or you can level up. I am all about the level up and living my life at my best and highest level. What I’ve learned is that your breakup doesn’t open doors but learning from it does! I learned to bank from my breakup. Last thing I was going to do was waste it!

Like Cardi B, "I'd rather have money and be broken-hearted than be broke and broken-hearted." So, make your own money and be your own boss! At the end of the day, true financial empowerment comes from making your own money on your own terms regardless of your relationship status.

If we are taking a page from Beyoncé, “always stay gracious, best revenge is your paper.” I’m not about revenge in any way. But I have no problem cashing in on my heartbreak. Ciara has some words of encouragement for us to, “be your own boss, love yourself, get up and dance. Level up!”. Like Ciara says, we can take our lessons, make blessings and turn them into money.

Money without the heartbreak any day. But we all know that heartbreak is a part of life. So there is no getting away from it.  We may not be able to control who breaks our heart, but we can control what we do with our breakup and how we level up. For me, I am my number one priority. It's all about me. Every day since my breakup I've been leveling up. I will never find myself in this situation again. No more dropping the ball in my life. At the end of the day, you don't want to rely on anyone other than yourself. When you rely on someone else to take care of you financially you give up your power. Your money, your life, your goals are 100% your responsibility. As I've said before, and it begs repeating, "A man or woman is not a financial plan or a security blanket." Your financial future and freedom is yours! Don’t leave it to chance or circumstance.

We can't avoid heartbreak. But we can choose not to prolong our heartbreak. The only way to deal with heartbreak is to go through it .  Feel it fully. Learn the lessons and move on. The key to moving forward after a breakup is to make a decision. Give yourself a time frame if you have to. Do what ever you need to do! Yes, it's that simple (but we often sabotage ourselves and make all kinds of excuses...been there, done that). It all starts with a decision. Because at some point you have to let go and get back in the driver's seat of your life. 

Everybody gets to that place in their own time. There is no number of days or weeks or months that must pass. You're ready when you're ready. It took me exactly 7 months to wake up from my breakup (will share that story in another post). I knew I wanted more and that I deserved better. Wallowing in it was not helping me. It wasn't easy, but it was necessary. I had to do it for me. Plus my ex was not thinking about me or what I was going through. He was living his best life. As I've said in previous blogs don't let someone tell you they don't want you more than once. I get it the heart wants what the heart wants.  Only you can decide that you want to move on, that you're ready to let go of the heartbreak and that you don't want to be broke or financially vulnerable. That is 100% your call. If I've learned anything from my breakup, it's that nobody owes you anything. The only person who owes you anything is you!

Now when it comes to your finances, you want to get your money in order. Starting off, you need to have a game plan and a strategy in place. Depending on your living situation with your ex you want to change the passwords to all of your accounts both on and off line. Or in some cases, you may want to delete accounts or change the billing info on the accounts, change settings and profiles. As well you want to take your name off of any shared leases and bills, such as internet, cellphones, email, social media, cloud storage, photo storage, streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, HBO Now, Spotify, Amazon). Basically, anything you shared or had access to. Next, you want to look at your debt, monthly expenses, and the sources of income you have coming in to determine if you are living at a cash deficit or a cash flow situation. You got to get real with your finances. Take an inventory of your gifts, talents and skills and see how you can monetize them and get people to pay you. Most importantly, you want to look into ways you can diversify your income and make more money.

Going from a shared financial lifestyle to a single financial situation can be challenging. The key is to mitigate the financial peril and to be in a position to make more money above your current single income from your job. Like Dr. Phil says, the average person is one paycheck away from disaster or worst yet, homelessness. You want to create your own safety net by creating additional streams of income. Being single again makes you financially vulnerable because everything is on you alone and you have only the one income. There is no to rely on or fall back on. Trust me I know. This is where having a coach or mentor can help. Working with a coach saves you time, money and aggravation. A coach is there to provide you with coaching, expertise, community, accountability,  service and support. 

I was a train wreck after my breakup. But one thing I knew was that I didn’t want to be heartbroken and broke. Because that just isn't cool. That’s when I decided to reach out to Dr. Tracy Timberlake about her Platform Program. Dr. Tracy Timberlake is an Online Educator for Entrepreneurs, Digital Strategist, Business and Life Coach, Speaker, and an Award-Winning YouTuber. Think of her as the Hitch of Online Entrepreneurship. She knows her stuff! 

Tracy has found the secret to successful digital strategy and has cracked the code for online entrepreneurship. Not only does she have the receipts and a proven track record; she has "over 11,000 hours of work, thousands of pages of research, hundreds of women studied, dozens interviewed, and one very lengthy dissertation!" I think it is safe to say that she is an entrepreneurial powerhouse. She hasn't just done it herself, she has studied it at lengths and has helped countless (and continues to help) others to walk in her footsteps. She's helped them to build their platforms and to flourish in the digital space. That's no light accomplishment. Dr. Tracy clearly knows what works and what doesn't.

Here's the thing, your dreams won't wait for you. So, if you are ready to make your dreams a reality, build your platform and you're ready to move on from being heartbroken and broke you don’t want to miss this. Check out Platform and level up. It was the best decision that I made for myself! Because at the end of the day nobody wants to be heartbroken and broke.

Updated: August 23, 2019.

Updated: August 9, 2020.