Daniel Sloss’s Jigsaw: Why Your Breakup Is the Best Thing

Cover image of Lindy Lewis

Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw

Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw live one-man comedy show has taken the world by storm. It's the follow up to Dark.  In just 10 days since it's debut streaming on Netfix September 11, 2018 Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw Live Show that was recorded in Sydney at the Enmore Theatre during a recent tour has been responsible for over 4000 plus breakups, 19 broken engagement and 17 divorces and counting. Many didn't see it coming. 

Now that was not Daniel's intention to spawn a breakup revolution and mass breakups everywhere. In his words, "Jigsaw is not a breakup show. Rather it is merely a love letter to single people." The point he makes is so powerful. He has confirmed for me that my breakup was the best thing that could have happened for me. My breakup didn't happen to me. It has happened for me. Truly it helped me get back in touch with me.

Keep reading to find out why your breakup is the best thing that could have happened for you. Trust me you won't look at breakups the exact same way. 

The Breakup Tally 

Latest tally since this post: Breakups - 5000+; Cancelled engagements - 22; Divorces - 30. As of...

  • November 4 - his breakup tally: Break ups - 10000+ Cancelled engagements - 40 Divorces - 54 
  • December 11, 2018 - his breakup tally: Break ups - 12500 Cancelled engagements - 56 Divorces - 62.
  • January 18, 2019 - his breakup tally: Break ups - 17000+ Cancelled engagements - 65 Divorces - 70

Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw Analogy

When Daniel Sloss was 7 years old he asked his dad a simple question. "Why are we here?" To which his dad gave him a simple answer using a jigsaw puzzle. His dad went on to tell him that our life is like a jigsaw puzzle. "As we go through life we are slowly piecing it together with experiences and lessons we've learned until we get the best picture. But the thing is imagine that everyone has lost the box for their jigsaw puzzle." 

Now, "none of us know what the image is of our jigsaw. So we are confidently guessing. The best way to do a jigsaw when you don't have the image is to start with the outside edges, the sides and the corners - family, friends, hobbies, job. As you go through life some of these bits change and we have to move things around." When you think about it life is really like putting a jigsaw puzzle together without the box.

He then asks his dad, "what are we all working towards?" His dad replies, "that's the partner piece. You want this perfect person you've never met before to come into your life out of nowhere, to fit your life perfectly, complete you, make you whole for the first time in your life much like your mother did for me."  The reality is it doesn't happen like that. But we've been sold this fantasy since childhood. Insane right?

The Message from Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw

The message Daniel got from his father at that very young age was that, "If you 're not with someone, you are broken. If you're not with someone, you are incomplete. If you're not with someone, you are not whole."  And society only adds to that pressure. We live in a society where relationships are celebrated. Marriage is the gold standard and that there is some "perfect person" for all of us. And if you do not meet this standard clearly something is wrong with you. You're stigmatized because you're single. The solution is to get boo'd up with someone even if they are not the right fit with you. How many times have you settled? Guilty!

Daniel then continues on to say that when we get older and become adults we're so terrified that we end up, "taking the wrong person, the wrong jigsaw piece and we jam them into our jigsaw anyway, denying that they clearly don't fit and we move other pieces out of the way to make them fit into our lives. Knowing full well they have no business being in our lives in the first place, they don't fit and they were never a fit. (Added by me for emphasis.)

Looking back my ex had no business being in my life. Hind sight is 20/20. I will never compromise my happiness again to please someone else or to fit someone into my life that clearly doesn't fit. It ain't gonna happen! Point. Blank. Period. Lesson learned.

2 Mind Blowing Questions That Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw Poses

Daniel drops the guillotine and puts the final nail in the coffin when he says, "we force this person into our lives because we would much rather have something than nothing at all. Then five years later you're stuck looking at a jigsaw that you don't even recognize." This is so true. OMG!

Then toward's the end of his recount of his jigsaw analogy Daniel Sloss poses 2 powerful, mind blowing, life changing questions. 1) Do I admit that the last 5 years of my life was a waste? or 2) Do I waste the rest of my life?  

Boom! Can you say mind blown? Talk about a light bulb moment. WOW. This was a huge revelation for me. This was exactly what I was doing in my own relationship. I realized that it was better to admit that the last 10 years of my life was a waste than to waste the rest of my life with someone I was trying to jam into my jigsaw that clearly didn't fit because I didn't want to be single. Think about this for a minute, the worst thing you can do with your life is to spend it with the wrong person. Even worst than that, is knowing they are the wrong person and staying anyway.

So next time you are feeling bad about your breakup ask yourself those two questions. So stop trying to hold on to someone who has no business being in your life in the first place, who doesn't fit and were never a fit. It's easy to stay in a relationship that isn't working than it is to walk away. Cold hard facts.

The Big Lesson from Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw

Daniel Sloss's big lesson is learn to love yourself, and that, "there is nothing wrong with being single, being alone or taking time for your self to work out who you are."  Further, "how can you go out there in the dating world and offer who you are, if you don't know who you are?"

When you love yourself 100% first, you won't settle for someone who loves you less than that. Anybody who loves you must love you 100% or more. Never settle for someone who loves you less than 100%. Use your breakup as an opportunity to love yourself and invest in who you are first, before you love and invest in someone else. So when someone comes along you already know if they are a good fit for you or not. You deserve 100% of someone's love, nothing less. If they don't love you 100% keep it moving and don't look back. This is what living an empowered life is all about.

So What Now?

If you haven't already go and watch Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw on Netflix. Seriously, your breakup is the best thing that could have happened. It hurts. It's painful. But better to know now than to waste a lifetime with the wrong person and to stay because it's just easier. You deserve better than that. In the end, you have a choice. You can be consumed by your breakup or you can look at all the reasons why it is the best thing for you. Your breakup is a blessing. 

The real takeaway from Daniel Sloss's Jigsaw is really to love yourself. When you learn to  love yourself you don't settle. No one can make you happy. Truth, you must be happy with yourself and by yourself before you can be happy with another person. There is no point to sacrifice your happiness for someone else's. Your happiness matters.

Life is too short to waste it on someone who doesn't love you all in. The greatest love is self love. Remember it is ok to be single. And you are not broken or incomplete. There is nothing wrong with you and you are whole just the way you are. No one can complete you or make you whole.