Getting over your ex is challenging at best. Trying to break the hold of your ex is one of the most difficult things following a breakup. You have history with this person or you may have children with them or you share pets. Either way it is not easy. 

Everyone deals with the end of a relationship differently. There is no right or wrong way to get over your ex and move on. There is only what works for you. Your life is 100% your responsibility and no one else's. You decide how you bounce back. 

I am not claiming to have all the answers. But I can share what helped me to move on in record speed (7 months to be exact). I mean faster than the speed of light. "Faster than a speeding bullet! More powerful than a locomotive! Able to leap tall buildings at a single bound!" "Yes, it's Superman. Clearly, I digress. Real talk, it is possible to get over your ex move on with your life and be happy again. The question is are you ready to go there? Well if yes, keep reading. 

Getting over your ex requires you to be honest with your self first and foremost. Sometimes we want a relationship that we know isn’t good for us. It’s not helping us to grow or it doesn’t elevate our lives in any meaningful and significant way. But we want it regardless even if it is totally wrong for us. I am guilty of this. The worst thing you can do is to be with someone who you is not a good fit for you.

And I know I’m not alone when I say this, but we often know long before the actual breakup that things are over. Whether we sense it or feel it or just know it. Something just shifts, and we know. I think what crushes us is the finality of things and losing the potential of the relationship and what could have been. We get so caught up in the fairy-tale that we lose sight of reality. For me, I knew things were not right. They hadn’t been for awhile. But denial is a beast. You don’t want to see what it is staring you in the face. You try to rationalize and justify all the reasons to keep holding on. But deep down you know it is hopeless. 

If I am being all the way 100 with myself, my breakup quite honestly was not a surprise to me. Deep down I knew it was over. I had changed, they had changed. Things had just changed between us. So, It was a matter of who would pull the trigger first. I was holding out against hope. 

Keeping it real, being ghosted sucks. I think what surprised me most was that I didn’t expect that type of behavior from my ex. I thought they were different. But I guess I totally wrong about them. It's true you can never really know a person. Lesson learned. The only person you can trust is yourself. Maya Angelou was so right when she said, “when someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” If only I had taken this sage advice sooner. I believe that everything does happen for a reason. But more so when someone walks out of your life, it’s to let them go. I so get that now. But it’s hard to let go. The heart wants what the heart wants. It has no rhyme or reason. 

Yes, granted getting over your ex takes time. Then there’s is all kinds of advice of how to get over your ex. You ultimately determine how and when you get over your ex. That said, for me it boiled down to 2 questions. Exactly 2 questions. The two questions I asked myself were were, 1) could I control it? and 2) could I change it?  Major light bulb moment.

I was ghosted. Just call me "ghosted bae". Yes, I was that woman. The thing was I could not control being ghosted, nor could I change being ghosted. My options where crystal clear. Honestly, there was only one option, give zero and keep it moving. This was a game changer for me. In the beginning I struggled to move on an get over my ex. As soon as I realized there was nothing, I could do about what happened, but to move on everything changed. I realized that sometimes you just have to cut your losses and put yourself first above everything else. That's exactly what I did. I have no regrets.

Nothing more eye-opening than realizing that there’s nothing you do can change or control your breakup situation. Talk about instant closure and a one-way ticket to moving on to living your best life. Plus, I sure was not going to let my ex tell me they didn’t want me more than once. Never let someone tell you they want you more than once. No one wants to be anyone’s second option or backup plan or worst their booty call. The big lesson for me was, you can’t change or control other people. And there are just some situations you can’t change or control either.  So, here’s the takeaway, what you can’t change, or control screw it and keep it moving. You choose. Don’t waste your time and energy. If you are still struggling with getting over your ex here are some reasons why.