Here is more breakup truth about breakups. In Part 1 we tackled some of the commonly overlooked truths about breakups. In Part 2, more breakup truth we pick up where with left off with and tackle the rest. If you are the least bit curious about those truths, keep reading.

Your life is not over. It’s quite the opposite your life is getting a reboot and you drop the dead weight from your life (a whole other human to be exact). Many times, in a relationship we sacrifice so much of our self and put our dreams and desires on hold. A breakup gives you your life back and puts you back in the driver’s seat of your life. This is exactly what happened to me. Once I got over the pain and heartbreak of being ghosted, I started to reconnect with myself. My breakup allowed me time to rediscover and optimize myself. Honestly, I have not looked back since. Life is great. Just think I started my online business. Home girl is in such a great place now mentally and emotionally. Likewise, I have no ill or negative feelings towards my ex. Honestly, I am grateful for my ex. Had I not been ghosted I would not have changed my life in the ways that I have. Nothing like breakup motivation to get your life right or to optimize your self and your life.

There is no Breakup 101 Course to ever prepare you for a breakup or to help you get over a break. You kind of go by the seat of your pants. There’s a lot of tears and trial and error. But what I have learned about breakups having been through my share is that breakups teach you things that only a breakup can (whether you want to learn the lesson or not). They teach you about yourself, other people, what you like, don’t like, your deal breakers, your red flags, your boundaries, what you will allow and what you won’t, your non-negotiables, and your must haves. Most of all they arm you with knowledge. They bring out your inner badass but in a good way if you harness that power right. (More on that in another blog.) So never underestimate the power of a breakup to teach you some of your greatest life lessons. As I always say, our greatest pain teaches us our greatest lessons. Breakups are no different.

Time is not the best healer for a breakup. That’s where you come in. Do or don’t do. Time in and of itself doesn’t heal. It is what you do that makes all the difference. To get over a breakup requires an action plan. You cannot sit idle and do nothing and expect to come out of your breakup healed. It doesn’t work like that. There are no unicorns and rainbows. No amount of fairy dust or wand waving will do it.  It takes work, energy and effort to rise above a breakup and reclaim your life. On top of that, you have to want to move on. Sometimes we get very comfortable in our dysfunction and our discomfort that we cling to a toxic relationship that we know expired many seasons ago all because it is familiar and comfortable. The only person that holds you back and keeps you from moving forward is you.  So, is it simple, sure? But is it easy, no!  Is it possible to move on? Yes! As long as there is possible, there is hope. You have to want to do the work. 

Breakups are given a bad wrap just by their very nature. They are viewed in a negative way and are stereotyped as bad, terrible, horrible...you get it. But guess what? They don’t have to be. There is such a thing as a good breakup. Yeah, they can be a bit messy and awkward (just a real shit show). But at the end of the day, it’s your choice how you handle your breakup. No one can handle it for you. You are 100% responsible for how you handle your breakup. Good or bad, positive or negative you choose. Moving on and getting over your ex is your choice and your responsibility. It’s funny looking back over my last breakup it’s amazing how much I had fallen into the fairytale, the trap that someone else is responsible for my life, for my happiness. That was probably my biggest wake up call.

There is no right or wrong way to deal with a breakup. Again, that’s on you. You decide what is going to work for you or not. You make your own rules or your own playbook. I  I did. The way I saw it I was not going to let my breakup best me. Oh, hell no! And I was not going to be that bat shit crazy woman that you read about. “Woman does the unthinkable following her breakup”. Nope. Because what I was not going to do was let my breakup break me. It was not going to happen. I chose to do my last breakup different than I’d done in the past. Thank goodness. Because old me would have gone all the way down the rabbit hole pretty fast. There is no question, I would have been an utter train wreck. No joke. But good news, your breakup doesn't have to rob you of your sensibilities or your power. 

When people think about breakups, they don’t think of them in a positive light. They focus on all the negative and bad things about their breakup. Banking from Breakup™ is about unapologetically flipping the script on your breakup and turning it on its tail. It really is about doing your breakup your way. Or as I like to say, “doing the unexpected” when it comes to breakups. No one expects you to turn your breakup into bank to actually cash in on your breakup or to come out of it better and stronger than ever. Flipping the script is really about finding the positive, in the negative. Not always easy, but necessary if you are going to move on. I like to think of it as leveraging your breakup and using it to your advantage, financial or otherwise (mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically etc.). Celebrities do it all the time. Why not you and me?

Banking from Breakup™ is just one way to bounce back from a breakup. It is what I decided to do when my last relationship ended, when I got ghosted on my birthday. As painful as that experience was, it was an eyeopener for me. What it taught me was that there is no prince charming and that I’m responsible for my life, no one else. My goals, my dreams are my responsibility. The only person I can rely on 100% is me! Nothing like someone showing you who they are to shake you up and snap you back into reality. My breakup was my wake up. Imagine if we never changed or grew from our experiences. We would be living this twisted and warped, very mundane existence. Yeah, no! “Let me get a double scoop of Ben & Jerry’s Rocky Road ice cream with that breakup, please and thank you!”

One of my coaches loved the concept for Banking from Breakup. She thought it was "genius". In her words, she described it as, “the ultimate f*uk you!” Even though that was not my intention when I created it, I can see how she could see it that way. But hey, it is open for interpretation and you can look at it in any way you choose. That is the beauty of banking from your breakup you spell out the terms and conditions. Seriously though it is not a revenge plot twist. I don't have time or energy to waste. It really is about being unapologetic and living your life on your terms. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with making some good breakup lemonade and living your best life after a breakup. So, what is your post breakup bounce back game plan?