How not to waste your breakup is the new golden rule. I have learned to never waste a breakup. Your breakup is your shake up. Breakups have a way of shaking you back into reality and getting your attention as to what really needs to change in your life. Next to that, there are lessons that only a breakup can teach you. Now what you take from your breakup is up to you. You can choose to learn the lessons or ignore them. As a self-proclaimed student of life and learning, I always look for the lessons my life is teaching me even if they are hard, painful and come via heartbreak train. Keep reading if you want to learn how not to waste your breakup.

Your breakup is really just a wake-up call that without we would be living a zombie life. Trust me I know. I was that person who fell asleep at the wheel and became a passenger in her on life living on auto all for the sake of a broken relationship. So yes, breakups are necessary for us to see what our life is trying to tell us. Often when we are in a relationship we are blinded. It’s not until the relationship ends that we see how out of alignment our lives are. Truthfully breakups are not bad. When we are going through them they suck. But how they can change us is priceless. The thing is we’ve been taught to see them as bad.  In fact, they are often the best thing for us, but we fail to see it when we are in the midst of them. Our perception is everything.

It is up to you to see the silver lining in your breakup. To see your breakup as opportunity to not only grow, but to reflect and improve yourself. This is what I chose to do after I was blindsided by my breakup. I refused to let my breakup break me or defeat me. Breakups have a way of bringing out the worst in us and lowering us into the grips of our inferior function. They make us question everything about ourselves. But I was not going to play the victim. I decided to do my breakup different than past breakups.

I love this quote by Elizabeth Gilbert, “Learn how to select your thoughts just the same way you select your clothes every day. This is a power you can cultivate.” It is all in how you frame it. Positive thinking is a choice. Everyday you get to choose your thoughts. You get to pick which thoughts you want to wear. It’s your responsibility to do it or not do it. Each day when I get up, I choose to be grateful and positive. I set an intention that the day ahead will be great. I select my word for the day. This sounds simple, but it goes a long way on calming my anxiety and  keeping my mind focused on the things that uplift me. 

It’s easy to waste a breakup. The fastest and quickest way to waste a breakup is to jump into another relationship without processing the previous relationship. Or picking up unhealthy habits. We see it all the time. It comes in many forms ie. breakup/revenge sex, rebound relationships, hookups, randoms, drugs, alcohol, food, gambling, shopping etc.. You get the idea. When you fall into these traps you deny yourself the opportunity to learn and grow from your breakup. You end up stuffing down, numbing your emotions and looking for validation and approval in all the wrong places. The key is to resist the temptations and not waste your breakup. Here are 5 tips for how not to waste your breakup.

Take a good hard look at yourself to sift and sort through your feelings. Use your breakup as a time to reflect on yourself and make the changes you feel are necessary without the distraction of a partner. This is a great time to get to know yourself, love on yourself, indulge in self care and make you a priority in your life. You get to be a bit selfish as you reclaim your identity, reconnect with yourself, and discover who you are and who you want to become. This allows you to deep dive and really process your breakup in a constructive way and learn about your red flags, deal breakers, non-negotiables for your next relationship.

Create your extraordinary life. Yes, there is life after breakup. You can move on, get over your ex and live the life you know you are meant to live. Make a list of the kind of life you want for yourself. Here are a few ideas to help you get started: What do you value, what is your mission in life, what do you want out of life, what are your top 3 goals when it comes to your health, finances, relationships, recreation, leisure, fun, experiences, spiritual growth, fitness, and charity? Take some time to put pen to paper to answer these questions. Your life doesn’t create itself. You have to map out the life you want. This was a game changer for me. It made me see that I could have an amazing life without my ex. It also makes room for your next.

Learn the lessons your breakup is teaching you. Then turn your lessons into your blessings. The key is to put them into practice and use them to not only change your life but to elevate your life. Our greatest lessons come from our greatest pains. These are the lessons that change us from our core. I like to call them life-altering lessons. They do exactly that and make us better for it

Help someone else. Determine who you can help with your own breakup experience. Pay it forward. Your breakup isn't yours. It is meant to be shared and to be used to help someone else. Someone needs to hear from you and is waiting to hear from you. When we are in pain the best thing, we can do to help ourselves is to help someone else who may be going through a similar experience. We are each other's teachers. There is so much that we can learn from each other's experiences. This was a large part of the reason I started Banking from Breakup™. I knew that I was not alone and there were other people going through what I had experienced.

Monetize your mess. Celebrities have been doing this for years. There are so many ways that you can turn your breakup into bank notes (yes dollar bills). You can 1) sell any reminders of your ex ie. clothes, jewelry, gifts, furniture, wall art etc.; 2) start freelancing your skills; 3) offer a service that someone else needs and will pay you for; 4) set up a Shopify or Esty store; 5) become an affiliate marketer promoting other people’s products for a commission. These are just a few ways to bank from your breakup.

Milk it for everything it is worth. You will be amazed how your life will change when you decide to use your breakup to your advantage. Really see it as an opportunity that has happened in your favor that has paved the way for you to learn and figure your life out.