Why I still love my ex? Honestly, it's much easier to love them, than to hate them. Weird I know. But truth is I love them even more now that they're not part of my life. I guess you can say that I’m loving them from a distance, and I am quite okay with that. Relationships end all the time. But we are often left with so many unresolved feelings and emotions that we don’t quite know what to do with them. Especially the love that was shared. The thing is your love for your ex doesn't have to stop when your relationship does. You can still love your ex, move on and be okay. Trust me it is possible. So, if you find yourself wanting to love your ex more than you want to hate them keep reading. It is possible. 

Here's the thing, it's totally ok to still want to love your ex. It’s not about is it normal to still love your ex or how long is reasonable to love your ex? What is normal varies from person to person. There is no set time period. At the end of the day, it's about making a choice to love them or not. You either choose to or choose not to. The thing is, when you choose to do something, you operate from a position of strength, not weakness. There is power in choosing to do something and you hold that power. How amazing is that?

When a relationship ends your feelings just don’t go away and you just don’t stop loving them. Feelings have a way of lingering on. You don’t just forget all the memories and erase the good times you shared. Plus, why would you want to? Your ex was a part of your life. They're part of your story. You can’t change that or deny that they were part of your life. Yes, it sucks that the relationship ended and that there is no future with them. But at the end of the day things played out the way they were meant to. Some people just are not meant to be in your life long term.

There's a big difference between loving your ex versus obsessing over them (constantly thinking about them, hanging on).  Rarely if ever do they cross my mind. I feel no kind of attachment to my ex or longing for them. That ship has sailed. I am the captain of my own ship now. Am I 100% over my ex? Yes. I have moved on with my life. Was it easy? No. It took time to figure myself out after my relationship ended. The great thing is that you get to choose what you hold on to and what you don’t when it comes to your ex and your relationship. In some instances, it’s unrealistic to not ever speak about, mention, think about or even speak to your ex. Especially if there are children or pets involved. The choice is yours what you do.

They showed me that harboring hate is dangerous. Hating them is counter-productive, takes way too much energy. Plus, it’s exhausting and mentally, emotionally and physically draining. It’s so easy to hate and to get on the hate train. Hate makes you ugly. You say and do things you never would. It tends to bring out the worst in you and can make you look real bat shit crazy. I know because I’ve been there. Part of me wanted to call my ex every word in the cuss word dictionary. But what would that really accomplish for me? Not much. To hate someone just takes way too much time and work. Which I just didn’t have time to waste. When you think about it, harboring hate only hurts you. Negativity only breeds more negativity. You are what you think about. So, choose your thoughts carefully.

They basically gave me a blank check which I am cashing in on each day. Yes, you read that correctly. You’re probably wondering what I mean by that. So, my ex and I were never married. We had a basic relationship. But I refused to have a basic breakup. I was not going to be a casualty of my breakup. There was no question in my mind that I was going to milk my breakup for everything I could and use every lesson, insight, aha and idea to my advantage. My breakup was the reason I started my online business and my blog Banking from Breakup™. Essentially, was able to hack my heartbreak and monetize my mess. Don’t get me wrong everyone’s breakup process is different. For me I chose to put a positive spin on a negative situation in my life. So far, so good. No regrets.

They taught me some of my best lessons. When you are going through a breakup the last thing on your mind are the lessons and processing what you’ve learnt. But once I got over the initial heartbreak and I had more clarity I was able to look at things more objectively. And honestly, a breakup teaches you things a breakup can only teach you. I was able to discover my capacity to love and be loved. Seriously, I’m a different person because of my relationship and more so because of my breakup. And at the end of the day, hating your ex does not fix your life. Only you can fix your life. Use your lessons as your blessings. 

They made me appreciate my life more. My breakup allowed me to get me back, take back my life and get back in the driver’s seat of my life. For 10 years I had dropped the ball in my life. Yes, it’s hard to admit, but I fell asleep at the wheel. It was all about my relationship at my expense. Won’t do that again. Trust me. Now that I have the reigns back and I’ve straightened my crown I am living for me on my terms. But it's the best feeling to not only own your breakup but to turn it into something better than your relationship ever was. Yes, I said it out loud. We get so caught up with the other person that we end up losing who we are in our relationship. No one is better than you to sacrifice yourself for, no one.

They held up the mirror to me. Weird I know. But let me explain. By breaking up with me I was able to see things that I was blind to in my relationship. I was able to see me for the first time in a long time. It’s so slick the way it happens every day in the relationship you lose a bit of your self till you no longer recognize the person in the mirror. Then, it’s not until a breakup you realize that you have no clue who you are any more. A breakup shines the light back on you. In many ways it cleans the mirror and we see who we truly are. For me, it really helped me to rediscover my worth and my value. Which had taken a backseat and second place to my relationship. It's funny how a breakup gives you 20/20 vision.

It’s totally okay to still love your ex. There's no expiry on love even though your relationship has ended. You can still have love for your ex and not be in love with them. I will always be grateful to my ex. You won’t ever hear me bash my ex or hate on my ex. Did I like how things ended and being ghosted on my birthday? No, I will never understand it. But I have come to terms with it. At the end of the day keep it classy, keep it positive. Avoid harboring hate. Because harboring hate doesn’t make you a better person. Actually, it makes you worst. They're unaffected by your hate. Your hate only hurts you even if intended for them. On that note, Happy Love Day and all the variations there of (Happy Valentine’s Day, Happy Galentine’s Day, Happy Palentine’s Day). Feel free to share this post on your social media or with a friend who can benefit from it. I appreciate you.