Finding your power after a devastating breakup can seem impossible. But I am here to let you know that it is very possible and easier than you think. Finding your power is the key to moving on from your breakup or your personal pain. A lot of times we make excuses why we can’t move past our pain, not realizing that our pain is our greatest asset and catalyst for change and transformation in our lives. We allow our pain to hold us back. Your pain doesn't have to hold you back. When you find your power, you’re able to get past your breakup and get over your ex. You don't have to be a prisoner to your pain, nor do you have to let your pain paralyze you. When you can lean in to your pain and embrace your pain is where you find your power and your strength. The truth is though, you can't fix what you don't face. 

Pain is universal. No one is exempt from pain. We all experience pain at some point in our lives. Some of us are dealing with chronic pain. Though no two people’s pains are the same, it’s a real, unavoidable, inevitable part of our life. It’s terrible, awful and difficult. As we’ve seen in recent week’s it can make you even take your own life. From a young age we have been conditioned to see pain as a bad thing, as something negative. That nothing good can come from pain. 

But what I’ve learned about pain from my own heartbreak is that it can also be transformative, life-changing and powerful. If you shift your perspective and mindset about pain you can change your life in ways you can only imagine. Your pain makes you confront your life, it humbles you and it helps you find your truth.

In my pain was my true calling and mission in life. My pain was the gateway for my growth after my own devastating breakup. In the beginning I struggled to get past the hurt for a long time. I was bitter and angry. It wasn’t until I confronted my pain that I was able to get unstuck and move forward in my life. It was through my pain that I reconnected with myself and who I was at my core. But I had to get real honest with myself and I had to stop avoiding my pain and running from it. For a long time, I was stuffing it down with food and material things to fill the void and to numb the hurt. This may sound weird and odd, but my pain saved my life. I rose regardless. Honestly, my pain was the path to my purpose. So, something great can come from your pain.

No one knows your pain better than you. Your pain is your expertise, your professor and your greatest teacher. This is where you find your truth, your purpose, your mission and your calling in life. I know I did. Our places of pain show us who we are and how we can help others. The fastest way to find your purpose ask yourself “who can I help with my pain?”

This was the exact question I asked myself that allowed me to channel my pain into something positive. Instead of letting my pain destroy me, keep me down and paralyze me. I used it to fuel me forward. It has allowed me to reach out, connect and to help others who have been through similar experiences like mine. Your pain equips you to help someone else. Whether it’s a shoulder to lean on, an ear to listen or a hand to hold. So, you see, your greatest pain can become your greatest asset. Someone, somewhere needs to hear your story and is waiting for your story. You are the answer for someone else's pain.

Embracing our pain is very counter-intuitive because we are taught to let go of our pain or to breakup with and release our pain. The key is to change our relationship with our pain. It really is not about the pain itself as much as it is about what we do with that pain. This is where we find our true power. Here are 5 ways to find and reclaim your power through your pain. Every day remind yourself of just how powerful you are.

Every month a woman has a 20% to 30% chance of conceiving and getting pregnant. She has about 3 days in a month in which she can conceive. On top of that out of approximately 250 million sperm, only one makes it to the egg. To complicate matters further, about 10 to 20 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage. The fact that you are here, you are alive means you are a survivor from birth. You survived things that could have killed you and you didn't miscarry. You endured nine months and were born healthy. It means that you’re a champion from your birth, from the beginning, from your conception. You’ve beat the odds and you survived on purpose. That means you were equipped with a winner’s spirit then, and you are equipped now. You made it. You defied the impossible and you already won.

After your birth you were given a name. In some cultures, there are very elaborate naming ceremonies. Every letter, every syllable and sound of your name has a meaning. Very rarely if ever do we say our own name. Usually it is how others identify and refer to us. When you say your own name out loud you empower your self. Your name is your greatest asset. It’s so important to understand the value of your name. Take a minute and look up the meaning of your name. The meaning of your name gives you insights into your identify, your character, your personality, your heritage, your strengths and your power. Next time you'e feeling like you are having a moment and your life feels like it is off the rails, just say your name out loud. This is the fastest way to reclaim your power. No one can take your name away from you.

This is the current world population. I want you to write this number down and take that in for a moment. Say to yourself, “I am 1 in 7.6 billion.” How powerful and amazing is that? Think about this for a minute, you are the only you that will ever be. There will never be anyone like you,  anyone that is unique like you. Every day that you can say you are part of the world’s population that is a blessing. You are a blessing and you get to be here. There is something special about you. You are meant to be here. There is a reason you were born. Your birth was not an accident. I repeat, you are meant to be here. When you think about it: you are important, you matter, your feelings matter, your voice matters, your story matters, your life matters, you pain matters, your hurt matters, your trauma matters and your experience matters. What I know for sure, and I will say it again, “someone somewhere needs to hear your story and is waiting to hear your story…there is someone who needs your help.”

I believe that everyone is here for a reason and that everyone has a calling on their life. You may not know exactly what it is, but you were born to do something great in the world. My favorite bible verse is Jer 1:5, “Before I formed you in the wombs I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” This is powerful. It means that before I was even conceived I was chosen, I was equipped, I was appointed, I was anointed, I was approved, and I was qualified. You have a higher purpose. Don't let your pain keep you from finding your purpose. In fact your pain can reveal your purpose to you. Never underestimate the reason you are here on this earth and why you were born. Your purpose is in your pain. It is who you are meant to help. Your job in life is to find your purpose and the reason you are here. There is something that you only you can share with the world. 

You get to decide how you use your pain to help yourself and to help others. Your pain is for your good. It can change your life in ways that you never thought possible. So, your pain doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Your pain is meant for you to profit, be it spiritually, emotionally, mentally, physically or financially. I now understand the expression no pain, no gain. It has new meaning to me. 

I was able to see the positive in my pain and use my pain as a catalyst to change my life. All I can say is that I am so grateful for my pain because if it were not for my pain, I would not have started my business or my website. My pain was for my good. It was not easy, but I was able to rise regardless of my pain. I told my self that If I could overcome my pain I could help so many others. My pain has made me who I am today. Facts! It has equipped me with unique expertise, knowledge and skills I otherwise would not have. It also taught me that there is possibility beyond my pain.

I will be publishing my first book later on this year. I used to worry about what people would think, but now I believe that someone out there needs my book and is waiting for my book. If my book helps one person then I have succeeded and this journey will have been so worth it. My book will go into more detail about finding your power and purpose through your pain. I am writing this book because my story matters and words change lives. STAY TUNED! Drop a comment below if you want to know more about my upcoming book.