Breakups test our 10^th nerve. For real. They bring out the worst in us.

They are hard and messy. They make us succumb to the grip of our inferior function. They make us carry on and act the fool. Just keeping it real.

But let’s gets serious here for a minute. We often find our self doing things we normally would not do during a breakup.

This can range from, but not limited to any of the following such as ex bashing, name calling, cursing about, harboring hate, animosity, negativity, judgement, shaming, blaming, justifying, rationalizing, seeking revenge, guilt, complaining, ranting, raving, ruminating, “whoa is me” pity partying, whining, obsessing over your ex, making excuses, or being emotionally caught up with your ex.

You can’t bank from breakup if you’re focused on your ex. It is impossible.

We complain about our ex and how they’ve done us wrong. Again, I can go on and on and on about that.

But I will not belabor the point.

 It’s keeping you stuck and unable to move on in your life. Trust me your ex has already moved on and they are living their life. They are probably seeing someone else. They may even be expecting a baby with someone else or marrying someone else. 

Here is the thing about complaining:

1. It doesn’t change anything and you still end up feeling back
2. When you are so preoccupied with your ex and complaining about it you are distracted from your own life
3. Your ex doesn’t care. The truth is they are not even thinking about you. Chances are they have moved on with someone else and are enjoying their life without you in it.

Ouch! I know that one stings. But it’s the truth. 

Bottom line breakup sucks. I get it. Been there, done that.

They are tough, they make you feel awful. You feel like you are in a scary movie or on an emotional roller coaster.

What you don’t want to do is spend time complaining about it.

Complaining only makes you feel more miserable.

You get to choose whether you complain or not. Your ex is not to blame as much as you would like to blame them.

I repeat, “complaining about your current situation does NOT move you forward.” In fact, it only holds you back, keeps you stuck while your ex is moving on. It slows you down and blocks you. Energetically it repels the very thing that you want and need.

Where you are today may be less than ideal. But you have the power to choose how you show up and how you handle your breakup. You have 2 choices you can choose to complain or you can choose to bank from breakup. The truth is, when you are banking from breakup you have no time to complain about your ex. But you have to commit to doing things different and to creating something new and better in your life.

But understand this very clearly. You're not going to create something new in your life by bashing your ex and complaining.