Your ex, is your ex. It’s over! It’s time to stop trying to hold on to them. You are no longer in a relationship with them. The more you try to hold on the more you suffer and struggle to move on with your own life. They are not thinking about you. Whatever you had with them ended for a reason. It’s important that you respect that and respect your self. The last thing you want is to become a causality of your breakup. Trust me it’s not worth it. There is no point recycling the pain and the hurt of a relationship that didn't work out. Keep reading to find out why you must let go of your attachment to your ex. It's not a healthy way for you to live. You deserve so much better than what they gave you (children excluded). Which is nothing. Nothing out of nothing, is still nothing!

Yes, ex-attachment is a thing. Couple that with ex-obsession and Houston we have a double whammy of a problem. Of a 1000 people surveyed by Your Tango, “seventy-one percent of people say they think about their ex too much.” Honestly, that is way too much time being wasted on someone that is not thinking about you. They found that both single (57%) and married (60%) people were hung up on some ex. By the sexes it’s even worst 74% of women and 60% of men are still pining over an ex. Even sadder is that 33% of people have had sex with their ex, and 20% have done so multiple times. Clearly not a good idea. I had to stop letting my ex rent space in my head. Thank goodness I woke up. You eventually get to a point where you stop caring about someone who no longer cares about you or your feelings. But it does take time.

Here’s the problem if you are still attached to your ex and obsessing over them, guess what…you are not moving on and living your life. You can’t be looking them up on the Internet or checking out their social media profiles or trying to remain Facebook friends and expect to move on. It doesn’t work or end well. Because you’re the one that gets hurt. Am I wrong? As I have said in previous posts, “holding patterns are for planes, not people.” I know, tough love. So lets get a few things straight for your sake and sanity. Are you with me? Ok, buckle in.

Your ex is grown. Yes, their behavior may be questionable. But none the less, there is no need to check up on them (bar children or pets), see how they are doing, buy their dog a gift for Christmas, call them for their birthday, keep in touch with their family, see what they are doing on social media, ask a friend about how they are doing. None of it. It’s over already. They had their chance to do right by you. But guess what they messed that up. Next. Time to let go and move on. Holding out hope for your ex doesn’t help you. They have moved on with their life, time for you to do the same. Here’s the thing you can still love your ex, move on and be ok.

Trust that your breakup was for your good. Stop selling yourself short, clinging to the hope of getting back together. There is a reason your relationship ended. Sometimes you just need to breakup and move on. Your breakup is your path to your next level of greatness. Staying in a dead-end relationship with the wrong person doesn't make sense. I remember feeling like "I don't want to be single." But in fact what I was doing was settling. Lesson learned, never settle and don't force something that is not there. You are worthy of better. Period!

Your ex gave up all privileges and access to you when they broke up with you. So stop giving them a free pass to hurt you, use you and hook up with you.  Because you will always end up with the short end of the stick. Enough already. As they say, never let someone tell you they don’t want you more than once. Their opinions no longer matter. You don’t need their permission or their approval. Do you. Live your best life.

No more excuses why you need to stay in touch with them and be their friend or follow them on social. No more. Time to own the fact your relationship is over and accept it. Yes you had an ugly breakup. Facts. I’ve been there. Be over it and on with it. Keep it moving and don’t look back. Your ex needs to stay in the rear-view mirror of your life. Behind you and out of sight. Done. Finish. Over. The best thing you can do is choose you. Because you are always first choice when you choose yourself. Never wait for someone else to chooses you!

No more reminiscing, walking down memory lane, looking at old photos, hooking up with them, calling them, texting them, emailing them DM-ing them or stalking them on social media. Seriously now, no more giving attention or emotion to someone who doesn’t want to be with you, no more! Time to lay your breakup to rest (RIP) and move on. They no longer deserve your time, thoughts or feelings. If there is one thing that I have learned, my ex is not thinking about me or my feelings. Chances are they have moved on with someone else. So it’s time for you to do the same. Because actions speak louder than words. So, do yourself a favor. Prince charming your ex is not. It’s time to let go of the fairytale. Because you and I both know that you deserve better.

If you took that same energy and pursued yourself and put all your attention and focus on you? Think about that for a moment. Let that sink in. What if you where the center of your world? No one should ever come before you or be put above you. Know your worth and your value. Don’t give your heart or feelings to someone who doesn’t value you or your worth. Your ex doesn’t deserve your time or attention. You are no longer in a relationship with them. They gave up their rights to you when they ended things. So, why hold on to someone who hurt you? Trying to hold on to them is only holding you back and hurting you more. Don’t you deserve to be happy?

Live your life and stop holding on to someone who doesn’t want to be with you. You can't make someone love you, miss you or care about you. That's just a superpower we don't have.  At the end of the day you can't control or change someone. You can only change and control yourself. So, it’s time to cut the cord and move on. Your best life is on the other side waiting for you to claim it and live it out loud.

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